Oh Come All Ye Filthfull...
Unfortunately phrased announcements in church bulletins:
"There will be a baked bean supper next Sunday at 6:00 p.m. Music to follow."
"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."
"Life groups meet on Wednesday evening at 7:00 PM for food, fun, and fellowwhipping."
"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility."
"The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
"This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends."
"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."
"There will be a baked bean supper next Sunday at 6:00 p.m. Music to follow."
"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."
"Life groups meet on Wednesday evening at 7:00 PM for food, fun, and fellowwhipping."
"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility."
"The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
"This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends."
"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."
posted by bunka @ 16:33
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