Were You Alone Or By Yourself?

• Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
• Witness: "July 15th."
• Lawyer: "What year?"
• Witness: "Every year."

• Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the
..............impact?"
• Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

• Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
• Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
..............which."
• Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
• Witness: "Forty-five years."

• Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
• Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

• Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
• Officer: "Yes, I do."
• Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly
..............at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
• Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."

• Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and
..............honest man"
• Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return
..............the compliment."

• Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the
..............basement?"
• Witness: "Yes."
• Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

• Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be
..............oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
• Witness: "Oral."
• Lawyer: "How old are you?"
• Witness: "Oral."

• Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
..............did you check for a pulse?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was
..............alive when you began the autopsy?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
• Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk
..............in a jar."
• Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive
..............nevertheless?"
• Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been
..............alive and practicing law somewhere..."