A Word On Wines

A lot of people in this country poo-poo Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain. Black Stun Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavored Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the worlds best sugary wines. Chateau Bleu - too - has won many prizes, not least for it's taste and it's lingering afterburn. Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favorably to a Welsh Claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommend a 1970 Côte du Rod Laver, which - believe me - has a kick on it like a mule. Eight bottles of this and you're really finished... At the opening of the Sidney Bridge Club they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half-an-hour... Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in and the message is "Beware!" This is not a wine for drinking. This is a wine for laying down and avoiding! Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Albon Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat. Quite the reverse is true of Chateau Chunder, which is an Appellation Controllée especially grown for those keen on regurgitation. A fine wine which really opens the sluices at both ends... Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy, and a prize winning cuvée reservée chateau bottled Nuit St. Wagawaga, which has a bouquet like an aboriginee's armpit...

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